Naysayers and Your Diabetic Dog
Today is the last entry for our “how do I live with this disease” series. I want to give a big shout out to Angelique for giving me the idea for this series. We have talked about the bond that we share with our Diabetic Dogs; how to take care of ourselves on this journey and today we talk about ways to deal with those family members and friends that just don’t understand.
When my Max was diagnosed, we were visiting Tennessee after having yet another run in with Texas wildlife (Finn was bitten by a rattlesnake for the second time). I just needed a break from the “crazy” so we came here to visit my family. Silly me, the crazy just seemed to follow me wherever I went. Suffice it to say that a different kind of crazy was waiting for me in TN, one of which was Max’s diagnosis.
Not everyone is a “dog person” and try as they might, they will never understand how much we love our pups. For me, my dogs were my children. I never had any two legged kids, so my four legged ones were my world. That means that I would do anything for them that most people would do for their human children, so when the “looks” and subtle comments started, I really tried to remind myself that not everyone would understand my devotion to my boys. Little did they know that in most cases (Ok… in ALL cases), my boys were more important to me than they were, so if anyone was “disposable” it was not one of my boys that would be put out of my life (if you get my meaning).
In my “Diabetes Community” ( CDSI), being that we are such a large group, we see many members that are facing the “Naysayers” pretty frequently. Some, and there are more than you can imagine, have had to go so far as to create a separate Facebook page so that they could join groups and post about their journey without the judgement that comes with it from those that don’t understand. I can only imagine the pain and strife that they endure daily and I’m so thankful that they got creative and found a way to support themselves while getting help and understanding from those that can identify.
For those that you can’t escape, family and close friends maybe, we need to find a way to tactfully agree to disagree. Hopefully, the naysayer doesn’t live in your house, if they do, I’m so sorry! I can’t help you fight that battle, but I can tell you that sadly, you aren’t alone. For those outside your home, I took the approach that went something like this:
Naysayer: Why do you spend so much time, energy and money on Max?
Me: He’s my “child”, God trusted me to care for him just like he trusted you to care for your children. Can you tell me that if one of your children was diagnosed as a Type 1 Diabetic that you wouldn’t do all that you could to ensure that child lived a long, full, happy life?
Naysayer: That’s different...
Me: Not to me it isn’t. So from now on, I won’t talk to you about Max and his illness. If that means that we grow apart, then I’m ok with that. I would miss you, but he is my first priority and if you can’t support me in this, I understand and there is no judgement here.
Sometimes it worked, sometimes it didn’t.
However you approach it, try tact first. For those that truly love you, it will work out. For those that insist on coming from a place of judgement and condemnation, ask yourself, “Is there anything positive that this person brings into my life?” If the answer is no, then you have your answer and it’s time to move on. Maybe there is a way back, maybe there isn’t. I like to believe that true friends will put their personal feelings aside and either try to understand your choices or at least keep their destructive feelings and comments to themselves. If tact doesn’t work, I’ll leave it up to you how you proceed. In any case, stand your ground, hold on to your conviction about treating your “sugar baby” and giving him/her the very best life that they can have.
One of my favorite quotes is from Maya Angelou, she said, “ When people show you who they really are… believe them ”. I promise you that your pup will give you far more and enrich your life far more than any naysayer ever will.
Good luck with the naysayers in your life. If you have found an approach that worked for you, please share it with the rest of us. We will be forever grateful!
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Until next time…